Schwarzenegger’s Love Child Bombshell

Maria Shriver Asks – How Do You Handle Transitions in Your Life?

Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted to his wife several months ago that he had fathered a child about 10 years ago with a member of their household staff. Maria moved out, but has not filed for divorce. In the you tube clip above she comments:

“Like a lot of you I’m in transition: people come up to me all the time, asking, what are you doing next?” she said, adding: “It’s so stressful to not know what you are doing next when people ask what you are doing and they can’t believe you don’t know what you are doing.”

“I’d like to hear from other people who are in transition,” she said. “How did you find your transition: Personal, professional, emotional, spiritual, financial? How did you get through it?”

Mrs. Shriver has asked for spiritual input and I personally think that unless she gets the spiritual help that she needs then she will end up in the divorce court. I am starting a series on how a marriage can survive an infidelity. My first suggestion would be to attend a “Weekend to Remember” put on by the organization “Family Life” out of Little Rock, Arkansas. I actually posted this as a response to Mrs. Shriver’s request on you tube.

I read the article ” Recovering Intimacy After an Affair – FamilyLife.com,”by Dave Carder. I  got the article from Family Life’s website and here is the fourth portion:

Rehearse What Drew You Together Originally

This is a time to focus on the two of you, on your special history. It’s time to get nostalgic, to remember “the good old days.”

The two of you did not have to choose each other; you were attracted to each other initially for many reasons. Explore that collection of reasons, and identify the various components. Talk about those initial experiences together—the dates you had, the places you went, the things you enjoyed. Review those, because it was during that initial dating stage that you began to trust in each other in the first place.

As you begin to rehearse and redo similar trust-building experiences (I recommend you even go to some of the old haunts again), you will find that your feelings of trust will start to return. You will find that, even though the infidel and partner built their own experience together, there is still an overwhelming amount of history that only the two of you share. This is your story.

Many things can help you get in touch with those important memories:

• old pictures, photo albums, and scrapbooks
• time lines (charts where you list things chronologically)
• date lists (write out all the things you did that you both recall)
• revisiting the old places—even journeying across the country is helpful (you can take pictures of old haunts and develop your scrapbook, which may have been neglected for a while; in fact, further developing that old book may become a metaphor for this stage of recovery: putting time and energy back into your marriage exclusively)

One of the traumas of recovering from an affair is that the spouse often thinks about the new history that the infidel and partner have built together. Even though that is true, the memories of that illicit history will dissipate over the course of time, especially as you begin to reinvest in your relationship. That is exactly why the reconciling couple needs to rehearse and remember what drew them together. 

__________________________________

Chip Ingram – Three Ways to Improve your Conflict Resolution Skills (pt 2)

Why is conflict so hard to resolve? Whether in your marriage or other relationships – conflict can be a huge barrier that most of us would rather avoid. I want to share with you some common mistakes in conflict resolution and three important realizations that will bring fresh perspective to even the most difficult conversations. If you want to learn more, you can listen to the full message on conflict resolution from our guest speaker Tim Lundy here: http://www.venturechristian.org/files/sermons2/t032011.mp3

______________________________________________

The clip above has some material that originally came from a video from Family Life. I have mentioned this organization several times in this post. Contacting them would be a great place for Arnold and Maria to begin their recovering. I am hoping that Maria realizes that this family is worth saving. It will take a lot of forgiveness and she will have to turn to Christ for his supernatural help to make it happen.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: News On Woman & Love Child TMZ Scoop

Maria Shriver Asks – How Do You Handle Transitions in Your Life?

Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted to his wife several months ago that he had fathered a child about 10 years ago with a member of their household staff. Maria moved out, but has not filed for divorce. In the you tube clip above she comments:

“Like a lot of you I’m in transition: people come up to me all the time, asking, what are you doing next?” she said, adding: “It’s so stressful to not know what you are doing next when people ask what you are doing and they can’t believe you don’t know what you are doing.”

“I’d like to hear from other people who are in transition,” she said. “How did you find your transition: Personal, professional, emotional, spiritual, financial? How did you get through it?”

Mrs. Shriver has asked for spiritual input and I personally think that unless she gets the spiritual help that she needs then she will end up in the divorce court. I am starting a series on how a marriage can survive an infidelity. My first suggestion would be to attend a “Weekend to Remember” put on by the organization “Family Life” out of Little Rock, Arkansas. I actually posted this as a response to Mrs. Shriver’s request on you tube.

I read the article ” Recovering Intimacy After an Affair – FamilyLife.com,”by Dave Carder. I  got the article from Family Life’s website and here is the third portion:

Review Contributing Factors

Factors both inside and outside the marriage combined to cause the affair, and it’s helpful to review them.

A special factor to review is the family tree. “Rats don’t have mice” goes a popular saying, and affairs do tend to run in families. I’d wager a guess that there have either been full-blown affairs in your family tree or at least “close calls.” It is imperative that you go back to your parents and grandparents to find out your history.

That “historical research” doesn’t excuse you or your mate’s behavior; it just helps you understand the setting in which it occurred. Knowing your family heritage can help you change it in your generation so that you do not pass it on to your kids. If teenagers (who are beginning to understand adult feelings) can see their parents grieve and rebuild their marriage following the infidelity, that will help them not repeat the cycle when they get married.

Once you’ve surfaced the information (it may take some digging), talk it over with each other. How does the infidel feel about it? The spouse? What attitudes were modeled to your young soul as a child that you can identify? Make it a matter of prayer together, and keep talking about it. Make the information yours, not just something you read in a book! 

_____________________________________

I have mentioned above a lot about Family Life. Here is more info below that comes from Family Life originally. I am starting a series today that talks about conflict in marriage and how to resolve it.

Chip Ingram – Why Conflict is a GOOD Thing (pt 1)

We finished a five part series about marriage at Venture Christian Church this weekend. As I shared God’s plan for marriage, I could sense it stirring up a lot of questions and even some conflict among people. I’d recently heard Tim Lundy share a powerful message about resolving conflict … so I invited him to join us. The good news is that conflict in your marriage or friendships doesn’t mean the relationship is bad, it means it’s alive! When you learn to recognize conflict as an opportunity you’ll learn how to push through tough conversations and actually come out better for it! I wanted to share some of Tim’s key points about resolving conflict and invite you to listen to the full message for free at http://www.venturechristian.org/files/sermons2/t032011.mp3 – it should be available by Monday.

______________________________________________

I am hoping that Maria realizes that this family is worth saving. It will take a lot of forgiveness and she will have to turn to Christ for his supernatural help to make it happen.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Fathers Love Child With Longtime Member Of Household Staff

Maria Shriver Asks – How Do You Handle Transitions in Your Life?

Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted to his wife several months ago that he had fathered a child about 10 years ago with a member of their household staff. Maria moved out, but has not filed for divorce. In the you tube clip above she comments:

“Like a lot of you I’m in transition: people come up to me all the time, asking, what are you doing next?” she said, adding: “It’s so stressful to not know what you are doing next when people ask what you are doing and they can’t believe you don’t know what you are doing.”

“I’d like to hear from other people who are in transition,” she said. “How did you find your transition: Personal, professional, emotional, spiritual, financial? How did you get through it?”

Mrs. Shriver has asked for spiritual input and I personally think that unless she gets the spiritual help that she needs then she will end up in the divorce court. I am starting a series on how a marriage can survive an infidelity. My first suggestion would be to attend a “Weekend to Remember” put on by the organization “Family Life” out of Little Rock, Arkansas. I actually posted this as a response to Mrs. Shriver’s request on you tube.

I read the article ” Recovering Intimacy After an Affair – FamilyLife.com,”by Dave Carder. I  got the article from Family Life’s website and here is the first portion:

Angela was depressed—really depressed. In fact, she was borderline suicidal. She didn’t know why, and her husband, Stuart, was equally puzzled. Their communication and sex lives were practically nil, and Stuart was worried. So he brought Angela in for counseling. He was doing fine, he said—it was she who needed the help.

I insisted that Stuart stay around for the first few sessions—I wanted to get an idea of their history together. After much discussion about various factors in their relationship, I began to find the clues I was looking for.

Stuart had indulged in a short entangled affair with his secretary five years earlier. Both Stuart and his wife vigorously assured me that they had gotten over it long ago.

Yet here was Angela about to end it all, with no apparent cause. I hypothesized to myself that their resolution of the event five years ago left something to be desired, that there still were major factors left unresolved between them.

Angela claimed that she had forgiven her wayward husband, but I had a hunch that hers had been a surface-only forgiveness and that her depression was the result of buried feelings of hostility toward her infidel husband.

After the affair Angela determined to go on as though nothing happened and be a “hero of God’s grace.” She kept a stiff upper lip in their church circle and was viewed as a paragon of virtue. In her heart, however, Angela was dying a slow death. Stuart seemed appreciative of her quick forgiveness—after all, that was his style too: his slogans of “Move on,” “Get over it,” and “Don’t look back” helped him to soon forget it too. He dropped his illicit relationship and arranged for his secretary to be transferred to a distant office, and she resigned rather than move. So all looked well from Stuart’s point of view.

Little did he know that a growing depression was engulfing his wife and beginning to affect her health. When he finally brought Angela in for help, she had very little of herself left to consider her anger at Stuart. In fact, she had almost forgotten the affair. It took some digging to link her feelings of “frustration” with the incredibly swift processing of the betrayal.

When Angela finally got angry and both she and Stuart began to grieve, it was like a huge festering sore that had finally been lanced. Their relationship worsened at first as the anger surfaced. But when Angela finally expressed her rage and began to struggle toward forgiveness on the basis of her true feelings, instead of denial, she was able to approach forgiveness. In effect, she was moving toward forgiveness right through her anger, not by going around it. As a result, Stuart developed an entirely new respect for her.

When Angela chose to forgive her husband, Stuart knew it was for real this time, and he could therefore begin to grieve his losses. Angela discovered a whole new person—her real self—to share with her husband. At the end of that long and arduous process, they were able to stand before the congregation and share their testimony of healing without shame.

Stuart, who had begun to feel like a second-class citizen in the church, could finally begin to feel better about himself, because his sin had been fully recognized by the one he had hurt—his wife. The two have a newfound respect for each other, and the children are doing a lot better, too.

But the best part is that they know for certain that they have forgiven one another. As a result, they know that their relationship is growing closer as time goes by, not more distant.

Remember, forgiveness is a process; all the characteristics of genuine forgiveness will not always be present, but they should become increasingly apparent along the journey.

Chip Ingram – Two Biblical Requirements to Resolve Conflict (pt 4)

To resolve conflict effectively and Biblically there are two absolutes that both parties must agree on – do you know what they are? Without this framework, you can try all kinds of things to avoid or resolve conflict in your marriage and relationships, but you probably won’t be successful. Listen and discover the common ground that can literally transform even the most challenging points of conflict. Want to learn more? Download the full message from guest speaker Tim Lundy for free at: http://www.venturechristian.org/files/sermons2/t032011.mp3

Arnold Schwarzenegger Fathers Love Child Decade Ago With Household Staffer

John Antczak of the Associated Press reported today:

Former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has acknowledged that he fathered a child with a member of his household staff, a revelation that apparently prompted wife Maria Shriver to leave the couple’s home before they announced their separation last week.

Shriver separately issued a statement saying it was a “heartbreaking time,” and one of their children, Patrick, expressed sadness and a yearning for normalcy in a Twitter message.

Schwarzenegger and Shriver jointly announced May 9 that they were splitting up after 25 years of marriage. Yet, Shriver moved out of the family’s Brentwood mansion earlier in the year after Schwarzenegger acknowledged the child is his, the Los Angeles Times reported Tuesday.

“After leaving the governor’s office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago,” Schwarzenegger told the Times on Monday in a statement that was later sent to The Associated Press. “I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I have apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry.

“I ask that the media respect my wife and children through this extremely difficult time,” the statement concluded. “While I deserve your attention and criticism, my family does not.”

Hours later, Shriver also released a statement: “This is a painful and heartbreaking time. As a mother, my concern is for the children. I ask for compassion, respect and privacy as my children and I try to rebuild our lives and heal. I will have no further comment.”

In a Twitter posting Tuesday, Patrick Schwarzenegger, 17, said: “some days you feel like s—, some days you want to quit and just be normal for a bit, yet i love my family till death do us apart.” He signed his tweet “Patrick Shriver.”

Schwarzenegger’s representatives did not comment further.

The Times did not publish the former staffer’s name or that of her child but said the woman worked for the family for 20 years and retired in January.

Schwarzenegger issued his statement to the Times late Monday, after the newspaper interviewed the former staffer. She had told the Times that another man — her husband at the time — was the child’s father. When the Times later informed the woman of the governor’s statement, she declined to comment further.

Schwarzenegger later released the statement to The Associated Press and other news organizations.

The child was born before Schwarzenegger began his seven-year stint in public office.

Shriver stood by her husband during his 2003 gubernatorial campaign after the Times reported accusations that he had a history of groping women. Schwarzenegger later said he “behaved badly sometimes.”

In public comments after the couple announced their breakup, Schwarzenegger said last week that he and Shriver “both love each other very much.”

“We are very fortunate that we have four extraordinary children and we’re taking one day at a time,” he said at a Los Angeles event marking Israeli independence. Their children range in age from 13 to 21.

Since his term as California governor ended in early January, Schwarzenegger, 63, has hopscotched around the world, his wife nowhere in sight. While the “Terminator” star appeared confident about the future since exiting politics, cutting movie deals and fashioning himself as a global spokesman for green energy, Shriver, known for her confidence, seemed unsettled.

The estranged couple’s initial separation statement referred to “a time of great personal and professional transition for each of us” but gave no hint of what caused the split.

Shriver had also mentioned “transitions” in a Facebook posting earlier this year but gave no details. At the time it seemed most likely to be a reference to the end of her role as California’s first lady. Schwarzenegger had left office in January after seven years as California’s governor. Shriver never moved to Sacramento during that time, but she used her position to run a popular yearly women’s conference that drew high-profile attendees.

Shriver, daughter of Sargent and Eunice Kennedy Shriver, met the former Mr. Universe in 1977 at the Robert F. Kennedy Pro-Celebrity Tennis Tournament in Forest Hills, N.Y.

They married on April 26, 1986, in a white clapboard church in Hyannis, Mass., with many members of the Kennedy clan and celebrities present and a crowd of fans cheering outside. At the time she was an anchor on the “CBS Morning News” and he was filming a movie.

In addition to Patrick, they have three other children, Katherine, 21, Christina, 19, and Christopher, 13.

___