New details on Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered child with a staffer – Early Show

Bonnie Rochman of Time Magazine reported yesterday:

Now that Arnold Schwarzenegger has officially confirmed he’s not much for monogamy, it’s hard to know who’s got the rawer end of the deal: his four children with Maria Shriver or the young teen boy conceived with the family housekeeper.

Infidelity is hard enough for kids to process, but when a dalliance yields a secret half-sibling, it complicates matters significantly, raising questions of love and loyalty. It’s still unclear whether the newly acknowledged son – whose gap-toothed smile and square jaw make him a miniature, if less-muscled, dead ringer for his biological father – knew that Schwarzenegger was his father. On Monday, former housekeeper Mildred Patricia Baena told the Los Angeles Times that her then-husband had fathered her son.

But Schwarzenegger’s admission of paternity scuttled that carefully constructed fabrication. On Wednesday, CNN reported that the son he fathered with Baena was born within days of Schwarzenegger and Shriver’s youngest son, who is 13. If the boy knew the truth of his parentage all along, he must be reeling, partly humiliated, partly relieved to know the truth. If he had no idea, he’s probably trying to synthesize the truth into the last 13 or so years of his existence.

“What if this kid is reading all this stuff and finding out he’s a heart-break just by being born?” says Linda Cavallero, an associate professor of clinical psychiatry at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. “That’s a kick in the head.”

The calculations are not all that different from those of a child who learns in his teens that he’s adopted – with the caveat that in this case, of course, the boy finds out that his mother’s former employer is doubling as dad.

“It requires a redefinition of identity,” says Richard Warshak, the author of Divorce Poison: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-Mouthing and Brainwashing and a clinical professor of psychology at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center.

There’s likely lots of re-defining going on among Schwarzenegger’s four children with Shriver too. While CNN reports that they weren’t blindsided by the news, having been briefed “methodically” beforehand by their mother, it’s undeniable that children of any age need stability. The maelstrom of the past few days has provided anything but. To add to the otherworldliness of the situation, the Schwarzenegger children probably already know their half-sibling; it’s hard to imagine Baena having worked for their family for 20 years without their meeting her son.

Now, all five kids – ranging in age from 13 to 21 – are left trying to piece back together the notion of parental respect. It’s a process that any child who’s been publicly disappointed or humiliated by a parent – think adulterer, Ponzi schemer, porn star – has to go through.

Patrick Schwarzenegger, for example, seems to have been sufficiently embarrassed. He changed his last name – temporarily and on Twitter, at least – to his mother’s. Posting on Twitter as Patrick Shriver, the 17-year-old repurposed a line from “Where’d You Go?,” a Fort Minor song: “Some days you feel like s – , some days you want to quit and just be normal for a bit, yet i love my family till death do us apart.”

Meanwhile, his older sister, Katherine, tweeted: “This is definitely not easy but I appreciate your love and support as i begin to heal and move forward in life. I will always love my family!”

“They can understand that somebody might be mostly good but do some things that aren’t good,” says Cavallero. “Where to the 13-year-old it could be much more shocking, the older ones are kind of like, This sucks, but at least they can get their heads around it.”

Mostly, though, it’s important for the children to realize that although Schwarzenegger disappointed his family, he’s not the enemy. “Their task is to put this new information into the entire context of their history with their dad,” says Warshak. “Parents are not defined only by their worst mistakes. These children have lost an idealized image of their father, and it would be best if they don’t lose the ability to love and receive love from him.”

That’s more likely to happen if Shriver can avoid encouraging their kids to take sides. Her brief statement on Tuesday did that, highlighting her role as their caregiver. “As a mother, my concern is for the children,” she said. “I ask for compassion, respect and privacy as my children and I try to rebuild our lives and heal.”

Of course, the public lens trained on the whole fiasco doesn’t make things any easier: it can be difficult to privately assimilate their family’s new reality when the entire world is weighing in.

Cavallero couldn’t help but think of Chelsea Clinton soldiering through the Monica Lewinsky incident, recalling her as “crying and saying, Why is this happening to me?”

“As a psychologist, I think about children in situations like that,” says Cavallero. “When he was president, she got a lot of benefits. But she also experienced the opposite. Anyone else’s father who is unfaithful doesn’t have to go on TV.”

Oprah Winfrey and Maria Shriver at Chicago’s United Centre yesterday for the taping of the star’s final show after 25 years. Picture: AP Source: AP

The Australian reported today:

THE mother of former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s love child was named yesterday as the actor’s estranged wife became the star of Oprah Winfrey’s final talk show.

Schwarzenegger, who last week announced his separation from Maria Shriver after 25 years of marriage, admitted on Tuesday to fathering a child with a longtime employee about 10 years ago.

RadarOnline and Star magazine named housekeeper Mildred Baene, 50, as the employee and reported that she had worked for Schwarzenegger and Shriver for 20 years before retiring in January.

“She’s the one,” a source said.

A second source confirmed: “They have a son together.”

Ms Shriver revealed at the taping of Winfrey’s finale that the talk show host had “given me love, support, wisdom and, most of all, the truth”.

She said she knew she was not “alone in receiving those gifts”and told Winfrey the star host “believed in others so they could believe in themselves”.

Hollywood’s A-list celebrities bade a star-studded farewell to Winfrey in a double-taping of her talk show.

“I feel the love and I thank you for it,” Winfrey told the crowd.

“Thank you for being a part of this great night, this celebration of what you have done for The Oprah Winfrey Show. You have made it possible for us to stand for 25 years.”

Tom Hanks, then Tom Cruise, greeted Winfrey after she came on stage to a standing ovation from the audience of 13,000 gathered for Surprise Oprah! A Farewell Spectacular at Chicago’s United Centre.

Josh Groban and Patti LaBelle sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow as Winfrey sat in a white chair onstage.

“Was that not the coolest?” Winfrey said when they finished.

She announced in November 2009 that she would end her popular talk show after 25 years.

Yesterday’s taping will air in the US on Monday and Tuesday, before Winfrey’s final show on Wednesday.

In Australia, the shows will be broadcast in prime-time on the Ten Network a day later.

Madonna told the crowd she was among the millions inspired by Winfrey.

“She fights for things that she believes in, even if it makes her unpopular,” Madonna said. The second show’s taping began with Will Smith and his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, who thanked Winfrey and told her she had mothered millions and “that puts you in the status of a goddess”.

Former basketballer Michael Jordan came on stage to hug Winfrey and told her he loved her and that she inspired him. Jamie Foxx and Stevie Wonder sang Isn’t She Lovely to Winfrey. Wonder followed with his own song, singing to her: “Oprah, thank you for using your gifts to uplift so many hearts.”

Simon Cowell made an appearance, Rosie O’Donnell sang a Broadway-style song and Jerry Seinfeld did a comedy routine. Grammy winner John Legend was beamed in from a school in New Orleans, and actress Dakota Fanning led a group of children talking about Winfrey’s influence on their lives.

“You always had the power, and that is the message you brought into our lives,” Cruise told Winfrey.

Halle Berry, Queen Latifah, Katie Holmes and Diane Sawyer were there, too. Beyonce sang her song Run the World (Girls), backed by dozens of dancers. And Rascal Flatts also performed.

“Oprah Winfrey, because of you women everywhere have graduated to a new level of understanding of who we are, of what we are and, most of all, who we can be,” Beyonce said.

By Justin Berton | SFGate.com

I love the Book of Daniel and have spent a lot of time studying it. For about 10 years I knew a man by the name of Edgar C. Whisenant in Little Rock.  He gave me some material to read and I told him that it was wrong to predict the exact date and time of Christ second coming and he got quite mad when I asserted that. Today we have the exact same thing going on with another preacher.

May 21 David Crosby wrote for the Baptist Press today: 

I predict that Harold Camping, the elderly radio talk show host now predicting Judgment Day on May 21, 2011, and the end of the world October 21, 2011, will adjust his predictions to future dates after doing further calculations on May 22, 2011.

I believe my prediction will most certainly take place because “no one knows the day or the hour,” according to Jesus. Since Camping is working from the genealogies in Genesis 5 and 11 and the account of Noah’s great flood, I assume he can and will come up with calculations to support new dates for the world’s demise.

William Miller, a sometimes Baptist preacher, predicted the end of the world no later than March 21, 1844. He adjusted his prediction after the fateful day passed without incident, lighting on numerous other dates in 1844.

Edgar C. Whisenant predicted that the rapture of the church would occur Sept. 13, 1988. As an American pastor, I received his free booklet, “88 Reasons,” which I keep as a more recent example of misguided apocalyptic fervor. Whisenant was insightful enough to realize that his date had passed without incident, so he then predicted Sept. 15, 1988; then Oct. 3, 1988; and then again selected a day in 1989, 1990 and 1991. By then no one was listening.

So why are we listening to the presumptuous Camping? He thinks all churches were abandoned by God and conquered by Satan on May 21, 1988, his own un-churched and unaffiliated status apparently providing him protection.

This is Camping’s second go-around for predicting the end of the world. His book “1994?” postulated the end of days in 1994 with a tad more humility. He thought at that time he could be wrong, but apparently all uncertainty has passed.

I first encountered Camping’s date on a huge billboard in Accra, Ghana. Similar signs in downtown New Orleans encourage us to “save the date.” Seminary students here are discussing the prediction, and various Christian ministries have gotten on board with Camping just as Trinity Broadcasting partnered with Whisenant in 1988.

Expectation of the return of Jesus Christ and the end of the age is an historic part of orthodox Christian theology. It should keep Christians future-oriented and eager to see God’s unfolding plan. It gives hope beyond human strength and wisdom. And it provides confines for human history that exalt the role of God in the world and set all human effort in the context of God’s sovereign rule.

Setting dates for the end of the world is a truly bad idea. While it may remind us of God’s ultimate authority, it also disappoints and disillusions those who assume the prediction to be true. I have personally witnessed the flagging enthusiasm of those who thought they knew when the end would come.

The prophets generally profit from their prediction in various ways but often recover nicely despite the inevitable disappointment. The average person who is caught up in the excitement of the final day leaves the whole ordeal with a bad taste in his mouth.

Judgment Day is coming because justice is an eternal quality of our eternal God. May 21, 2011, is a great day to hope in God’s sovereign rule and continue your faithful routines. If the end of the world should catch you in the classroom or at work instead of on the mountain, you will be found faithful.
–30–
David Crosby is pastor of First Baptist Church in New Orleans. This column first appeared at SBCToday.com.

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Wikipedia notes:

Edgar C. Whisenant (September 25, 1932 – May 16, 2001), was a former NASA engineer and Bible student who predicted the Rapture would occur in 1988, sometime between Sept. 11 and Sept. 13. He published two books about this: 88 Reasons Why the Rapture Will Be in 1988 and On Borrowed Time. Eventually, 300,000 copies of 88 Reasons were mailed free of charge to ministers across America, and 4.5 million copies were sold in bookstores and elsewhere. Whisenant was quoted as saying “Only if the Bible is in error am I wrong; and I say that to every preacher in town,” and “[I]f there were a king in this country and I could gamble with my life, I would stake my life on Rosh Hashana 88.” ^[1][2]

Whisenant’s predictions were taken seriously in some parts of the evangelical Christian community. As the great day approached, regular programming on the Christian Trinity Broadcast Network (TBN) was interrupted to provide special instructions on preparing for the Rapture.

When the predicted Rapture failed to occur, Whisenant followed up with later books with predictions for various dates in 1989, 1993, and 1994. These books did not sell in quantity. Whisenant continued to issue various Rapture predictions through 1997, but gathered little attention.

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Here are the other posts I had on this same subject:

Harold Camping “flabbergasted” he was wrong

Maria Shriver Asks – How Do You Handle Transitions in Your Life?

Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted to his wife several months ago that he had fathered a child about 10 years ago with a member of their household staff. Maria moved out, but has not filed for divorce. In the you tube clip above she comments:

“Like a lot of you I’m in transition: people come up to me all the time, asking, what are you doing next?” she said, adding: “It’s so stressful to not know what you are doing next when people ask what you are doing and they can’t believe you don’t know what you are doing.”

“I’d like to hear from other people who are in transition,” she said. “How did you find your transition: Personal, professional, emotional, spiritual, financial? How did you get through it?”

Mrs. Shriver has asked for spiritual input and I personally think that unless she gets the spiritual help that she needs then she will end up in the divorce court. I am starting a series on how a marriage can survive an infidelity. My first suggestion would be to attend a “Weekend to Remember” put on by the organization “Family Life” out of Little Rock, Arkansas. I actually posted this as a response to Mrs. Shriver’s request on you tube.

 I read the article “ Recovering Intimacy After an Affair – FamilyLife.com,”by Dave Carder. I  got the article from Family Life’s website and here is the sixth portion:

Share Your Intimate Self

It’s standard fare for stand-up comedians, but it’s sad when you really think about it. The guy who, for thirty years of marriage would never think of doing anything but drive the same car slowly and deliberately to work and back, suddenly begins to tool around town with sexy young blondes in a new red Porsche!

Yet caricature differs only slightly from real life: one of the common reports from the spouse in an affair is the complete change in behavior in the infidel as expressed with the partner. For example, with the spouse, the infidel never talked; with the partner, he talked for hours. With the spouse, he never read poetry; with the partner, he not only reads it—he writes it! There are dozens of examples: with the spouse, he never took walks, never had bar-b-ques in the park, never spent lazy afternoons in a motel, never bought shiny trinkets for gifts, or planned rendezvous, but with the partner, he does all those things. It’s comical in one way but sad in another.

Usually the illicit partner sees a very different person in the infidel than the spouse had come to see over the many years in the marriage. Yet that side of the infidel’s personality needs to be revealed. It is a part of his psyche and of the marriage relationship that the couple has allowed to atrophy.

It is true that different people bring out different sides of our personalities, but an affair so opens up a marriage and the individuals in the marriage that there is almost unlimited access to the psyche of both mates. In affair recovery, we need to take advantage of that unique view into the other’s needs and turn something bad into a growth opportunity.

One of the ways to reveal who you are and how you became that way is to talk nonstop about yourself for twenty minutes. This self-revealing exercise is usually nonexistent in marriages but extremely frequent in affairs. Talking about who you are is part of the central fascination on which the friendship builds in an affair.

At first, individuals are afraid to initiate this kind of activity with their marital partner. They think it’s boring, selfish, or even narcissistic, but it doesn’t have to be. They also may be uncertain about how they will be accepted, or they may suspect that what they say will be used against them.

Resist those fears and try it. Remember, lack of deep communication is usually part of the message of the affair. We all want to reveal who we are, and we all want to be known by someone who loves us and accepts us unconditionally.

Choose some safe topics. The following list might be helpful:

• Your earliest set of memories
• Grade by grade in elementary school
• My first boyfriend/girlfriend or first date
• My happy childhood memories
• My birthdays—happy and unhappy
• My favorite teacher and all of my memories about him/her
• The first time I drove a car
• My first car accident or traffic ticket
• My first kiss, job, and so on
• The favorite child in my family, why he or she was the favorite, how I felt about that, experiences and feelings I shared with him/her
• My favorite parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin
• All the houses I lived in; my craziest neighborhood friends
• All the schools I attended
• The longest walk I ever took
• The ways I always spent my allowance as a kid
• My parents’ favorite sayings and how they used them; which ones I liked and didn’t like
• Things that I would have changed if I had been the parent in my family of origin
• The favorite year of my life
• The age I would like to remain forever
• Any others you think of

All of those experiences have feelings attached to them. Share with your mate how those subjects made you feel. That is the part that is important to tell at this point in your relationship. Facts are helpful; perceptions are important; but feelings are crucial to reestablishing intimacy. Feelings form the core of intimacy—that special closeness that assures you that, although your mate knows you and sees inside of you, he/she still loves you and accepts you completely.

One of the best ways to do this exercise is for each mate to take turns on successive days talking about himself or herself. The wife might do it one day; the husband the next.

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Requirements to Resolve Conflict (pt 4)

To resolve conflict effectively and Biblically there are two absolutes that both parties must agree on – do you know what they are? Without this framework, you can try all kinds of things to avoid or resolve conflict in your marriage and relationships, but you probably won’t be successful. Listen and discover the common ground that can literally transform even the most challenging points of conflict. Want to learn more? Download the full message from guest speaker Tim Lundy for free at: http://www.venturechristian.org/files/sermons2/t032011.mp3

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The clip above has some material that originally came from a video from Family Life. I have mentioned this organization several times in this post. Contacting “Family Life” (out of Little Rock, Arkansas) would be a great place for Arnold and Maria to begin their recovering. I am hoping that Maria realizes that this family is worth saving. It will take a lot of forgiveness and she will have to turn to Christ for his supernatural help to make it happen.