–
Proverbs 17New Living Translation
17 Better a dry crust eaten in peace
than a house filled with feasting—and conflict.
2 A wise servant will rule over the master’s disgraceful son
and will share the inheritance of the master’s children.
3 Fire tests the purity of silver and gold,
but the Lord tests the heart.
4 Wrongdoers eagerly listen to gossip;
liars pay close attention to slander.
5 Those who mock the poor insult their Maker;
those who rejoice at the misfortune of others will be punished.
6 Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged;
parents[a] are the pride of their children.
7 Eloquent words are not fitting for a fool;
even less are lies fitting for a ruler.
8 A bribe is like a lucky charm;
whoever gives one will prosper!
9 Love prospers when a fault is forgiven,
but dwelling on it separates close friends.
10 A single rebuke does more for a person of understanding
than a hundred lashes on the back of a fool.
11 Evil people are eager for rebellion,
but they will be severely punished.
12 It is safer to meet a bear robbed of her cubs
than to confront a fool caught in foolishness.
13 If you repay good with evil,
evil will never leave your house.
14 Starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate,
so stop before a dispute breaks out.
15 Acquitting the guilty and condemning the innocent—
both are detestable to the Lord.
16 It is senseless to pay to educate a fool,
since he has no heart for learning.
17 A friend is always loyal,
and a brother is born to help in time of need.
18 It’s poor judgment to guarantee another person’s debt
or put up security for a friend.
19 Anyone who loves to quarrel loves sin;
anyone who trusts in high walls invites disaster.
20 The crooked heart will not prosper;
the lying tongue tumbles into trouble.
21 It is painful to be the parent of a fool;
there is no joy for the father of a rebel.
22 A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.
23 The wicked take secret bribes
to pervert the course of justice.
24 Sensible people keep their eyes glued on wisdom,
but a fool’s eyes wander to the ends of the earth.
25 Foolish children[b] bring grief to their father
and bitterness to the one who gave them birth.
26 It is wrong to punish the godly for being good
or to flog leaders for being honest.
27 A truly wise person uses few words;
a person with understanding is even-tempered.
28 Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent;
with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.
–
Bill Elliff
Proverbs 1,
20 WAYS TO DEAL WITH A FOOLISH PERSON
November 05, 2019
The writer of Proverbs divides the world into two types of people: wise and foolish. He has much to say about both. A man is made wise by listening to the Lord and living His life in surrender to God’s will and way.
God IS wisdom and the source of all wisdom in this earth. “The fool has said in his heart, ‘There is no God,’” David said. When we reject Him, we reject the process of receiving the wisdom we need. We become foolish, vainly thinking that our mere humanistic thinking is sufficient for life.
And, fools will hurt you. They ruin relationships, cloud decision making, and lead others astray. If you are a man who is seeking wisdom, you will find that dealing with foolish people is a great burden.
I have recently been helping a pastor work through an issue with a very foolish person in his church. This individual is proud and believes their opinion is more important than anyone’s. They are creating strife and discord in the church and there is a very clear unwillingness to submit to godly spiritual leaders. A foolish person, wrapped in religious clothing, is even harder to deal with because they approach others under the guise of spirituality.
Their anger and issues are hard to deal with, which the writer of Proverbs points out. It is a very heavy weight for a leader to bear.
“A stone is heavy and the sand weighty, but the provocation of a fool is heavier than both of them.” (Proverbs 27:4)
Here are twenty instructions from Proverbs about how to recognize and deal with foolish people … some things a wise leader needs to understand.
1. They will not accept instruction
Proverbs 1:7: The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.
2.They will not honor others
Proverbs 3:35: The wise will inherit honor, but fools display dishonor.
3. They will quickly gossip and slander others
Proverbs 10:18: He who conceals hatred has lying lips, and he who spreads slander is a fool.
4. They do not have real, spiritual understanding
Proverbs 10:21: The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of understanding.
Proverbs 16:22: Understanding is a fountain of life to one who has it, but the discipline of fools is folly.
5.They always think they’re right and will not listen to nor accept humbly the counsel of others
Proverbs 12:15: The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.
6. They are quick to anger
Proverbs 12:16: A fool’s anger is known at once, but a prudent man conceals dishonor.
Proverbs 29:11: A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back.
7. They will always, ultimately display their foolishness. It cannot be hidden for long.
Proverbs 13:16: Every prudent man acts with knowledge, but a fool displays folly.
8. If you associate with them, it will lead to harm
Proverbs 13:20: He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
9. They are deceitful, often not even realizing their deception. They are full of self-deception.
Proverbs 14:8: The wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way, but the foolishness of fools is deceit.
10. They are arrogant and careless, particularly about walking into evil.
Proverbs 14:16: A wise man is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is arrogant and careless.
11. They are quick to tell everyone what they think, but it’s folly. They have an opinion on everything, that they believe is right.
Proverbs 15:2: The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, but the mouth of fools spouts folly.
12. They reject discipline
Proverbs 15:5: A fool rejects his father’s discipline, but he who regards reproof is sensible.
13. They do not spread real knowledge (although they think they do)
Proverbs 15:7: The lips of the wise spread knowledge, but the hearts of fools are not so.
14. Don’t give them position or honor
Proverbs 26:8: Like one who binds a stone in a sling, so is he who gives honor to a fool.
Proverbs 26:10: Like an archer who wounds everyone, so is he who hires a fool or who hires those who pass by.
15. They will not receive a healthy rebuke (because they always think they’re right)
Proverbs 17:10: A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.
16. They are dangerously protective when you deal with them. They will hurt you to protect their way.
Proverbs 17:12: Let a man meet a bear robbed of her cubs, rather than a fool in his folly.
17. They don’t want understanding, but they love to tell you what they think.
Proverbs 18:2: A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in revealing his own mind.
18. They create strife
Proverbs 18:6: A fool’s lips bring strife, and his mouth calls for blows.
19. They love to quarrel
Proverbs 20:3: Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, but any fool will quarrel.
20. It’s useless to try to reason with them
Proverbs 23:9: Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words.
Proverbs 26:4: Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will also be like him.
Proverbs 26:5: Answer a fool as his folly deserves, that he not be wise in his own eyes.
All of us are foolish at times, and we’re all capable of becoming foolish. Every leader must evaluate first his own life, to see if he is acting or living foolishly. A wise leader pursues God fervently and humbly, which is to pursue wisdom. But also, a wise leader must know how to recognize and deal with foolish people, particularly those who are causing discord, contention, and strife.
Adrian Rogers: How to Be the Father of a Wise Child (1932)
Fathers Who Teach Their Children to Be Wise
June 20, 2021 Save Article
Proverbs
Why do some children adore their fathers and others hate them? What’s the difference between fathers? Sometimes children are caught up in the mistakes and mindset of fathers who won’t do what they should to guide those children into a safe, secure haven. The fathers’ own pride and arrogance make shipwreck both of their own lives and their children’s. It doesn’t have to be this way.
I’ve observed one characteristic in almost all fathers whose children love and follow them. I’ll tell you what it is in a moment.
The book of Proverbs is a veritable owner’s manual on how to raise a wise child. From the first chapter, it says the proverbs were written, in large part, so we would come…
…to know wisdom and instruction, to perceive the words of understanding, to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, judgment, and equity; to give prudence to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion—A wise man will hear and increase learning, and a man of understanding will attain wise counsel…. Wisdom calls aloud outside; she raises her voice in the open squares. She cries out in the chief concourses, at the openings of the gates in the city she speaks her words: “How long, you simple [naïve, immature] ones, will you love simplicity? For scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge. (Proverbs 1:2-5; 20-22)
Underline three words in this passage: simple, scorners, and fools. A child isn’t born a scorner or a fool. A long road leads to the evolution of a fool.
Children need your guidance and protection.
They’re easily molded. “Simple” in verse 22 means open and naïve; children’s minds and hearts are plastic—easily shaped, innocent.
They lack understanding. There comes a time when the child must be guided from innocence into wisdom and maturity.
They can be quickly led into error. A child is an easy target for Hollywood, false religions, and sinful friends. They’re so open, they’ll believe anything. They’re like a sponge. They can be tricked and misled; they’re living in constant danger, sitting ducks for bad influences.
“The simple believes every word…” (Proverbs 24:15). “A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself: but the simple pass on and are punished” (Proverbs 22:3).
The young tend to think they’re indestructible, not weighing the future, easy to mislead.
The older child needs godly correction.
Look at the word “scorner.” Little children aren’t scorners yet but heads up, dads: the older children, if not guided by dad and mom, take the next step down—they become the scorners/scoffers.
They get their jollies from being the smart-alecky kids, the teenage cynics, the mockers at the university. It breaks my heart to say it, but most teenagers in America now are scorners. Scorners can break a parent’s heart.
They defy instruction because “scorners delight in their scorning” (Proverbs 1:22).
“A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke” (Proverbs 13:1).
Scorners will fire back at you. (See Proverbs 9:8.) They won’t listen. It’s like talking to a brick wall—they’ll tune you out. “A scoffer does not love one who corrects him, nor will he go to the wise” (Proverbs 15:12).
He’ll never come and say, “Dad, I need help. Will you help me out?” When you try to correct the scorner, he’ll look at you and say with his eyes, “I hate your guts.”
They’re on a track for destruction.
“He who despises the Word will be destroyed” (Proverbs 13:13).
If they laugh at the Word of God, they may laugh their way right into Hell. Scorners are very hard to reach, but there is yet hope; they can still be reclaimed.
Catch them before they self-destruct.
First, there was the simple—naïve, open, carefree. But if he’s not taught, he will become a scorner. We all carry that fallen nature. Then the scorner, if not restrained by parents, becomes a person the Bible designates “a fool.” The scorner is insolent, but the fool is immovable—rebellious, arrogant, and wicked.
A fool will reject wisdom.
“And fools hate knowledge” (Proverbs 1:22).
“The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouth of fools feeds on foolishness” (Proverbs 15:14).
He ridicules righteousness.
“Fools mock at sin” (Proverbs 14:9).
This is why we have sitcoms that laugh at drunkenness, glorify adultery, mock marriage, promote homosexuality and relish perversion. Who does that? Fools.
He rejoices in iniquity.
“Folly is joy to him who is destitute of discernment…” (Proverbs 15:21).
His moral sense is so perverted, he calls good evil and evil good. His heart is hardened, his conscience is seared, and his mind is defiled.
He rejects reproof.
God will chasten those who are His own. “For whom the Lord loves, He chastens…” (Hebrews 12:6). But reproof and correction are lost on a fool. “Rebuke is more effective for a wise man than a hundred blows on a fool” (Proverbs 17:10).
Trying to reprove the fool will get you nowhere. Don’t even try. He won’t hear you. He is intransigent. If he were wise, he would repent when God chastised him.
God gives us little children who begin life innocent and open. But if you’re not careful, society will turn them into smart alecks.
Dad, if they’re not rescued when they become scorners or smart alecks, they’ll become fools. The fool is on the fast track to Hell.
We’re in serious trouble in America. In 1962, prayer in public schools was declared unconstitutional. In 1963, Bible reading in schools was deemed “unconstitutional,” but in 1973 the killing of pre-born children somehow became a Constitutional “right.” Then in 1980, the Ten Commandments had to be removed from where they were posted on school walls because, they said, “The child might be tempted to follow them.”
Secular humanists have proven to be great strategists. They latched onto the one segment of life almost every child will pass through—public school—and targeted it to become their “Sunday School” for humanist philosophy. To do that, they had to purge any vestige of Christian influence.
In light of this attack on your children, how can you be the father of a wise child and keep from raising a fool?
Dads, with everything in modern culture fighting against you, you must gear up for this battle.
7 Ways to Be the Father of Wise Children:
1. Expound truth.
Saturate them in the Proverbs. Emblazon the Ten Commandments onto their consciousness. Teach them the Beatitudes, that they might learn these simple, basic truths. It’s your God-given responsibility (See Deuteronomy 6:6-9.) to teach these commandments to your sons, daughters, and grandsons, that your family will survive and your home endure.
The battle is for the mind. As the child thinks, so is he. Get a memorization plan going and make it fun, with rewards when children commit scheduled verses to memory. Get the Word down into their hearts early.
2. Expose sin.
The young and innocent will learn by example when they see discipline fall upon the scorner. Children need to see what happens when sin is exposed and consequences are suffered.
“When the scoffer is punished, the simple is made wise” (Proverbs 21:11).
The worst thing would be for your child to live in a sinful society where he never sees the repercussions of sin. Our children today are insulated; often they don’t see the result of sin. Help them understand. Don’t just expound truth, but expose sin. Take your child down to skid row. Take him to the prisons. Let him see the end result of bad choices.
“Strike a scoffer, and the simple will become wary; Rebuke one who has understanding, and he will discern knowledge” (Proverbs 19:25).
The young think they’re indestructible. You need to pull back the veil.
3. Expel scorners.
Do not let your children hang around with scorners and fools. Just don’t do it. Help them select their friends. That means you may have to be firm and “cast out the scorner.” Show them the door. Impressionable children will succumb to peer pressure.
Open up your house to your child’s friends. Make your home the headquarters for fun. And while they’re there, you can monitor those friends. Peer pressure is not bad if the peers are good. If there’s a smart aleck or a fool, say, “Son, there’s the sidewalk.”
“Cast out the scoffer, and contention will leave; Yes, strife and reproach will cease” (Proverbs 22:10).
Moms and dads, underline this, a good verse for memorization:
“He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed” (Proverbs 13:20).
4. Express love.
Love your children! Delight in them.
“For whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights” (Proverbs 3:12).
Be positive. Avoid negativism. Words can hurt your children more than a slap in the face. Learn to listen. Try to see life from their point of view. They’re facing things you never faced.
5. Be gentle.
This is that one characteristic I mentioned at the beginning, which I’ve seen in all dads whose children love and follow them: They are gentle. That’s what children want out of their dad. Yes, they want a dad they can look up to, who’s the strongest, wisest, smartest, fastest, best dad in the world…but they want him to be gentle! Touch them, hug them, give them non-verbal affection.
6. Be transparent.
Let them know your fears, joys, disappointments, failures, and goals. They already know you’re not perfect; they don’t want you to be a phony.
7. Be available.
Make it a priority that you’re available to your child.
If you feel inadequate—so do I. None of us has what it takes to be this kind of dad. That’s why we need Jesus.
We’ve got to have Christ in our hearts! The Christian life is not difficult, it’s impossible. Only one who can do it, and that’s Jesus.
But He will do it, in and through us, if we’ll let Him. The best thing you can do for your children is to love God with all your heart. Give your heart to Jesus.
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