Prince William and Kate moved in together about a year ago. In this clip above the commentator suggested that maybe Prince Charles and Princess Diana would not have divorced if they had lived together before marriage. Actually Diana was a virgin, and it was Charles’ uncle (Louis Mountbatten) that gave him the advice that he should seek to marry a virgin.
I really do wish Kate and William success in their marriage. I hope they truly are committed to each other, and if they are then the result will be a marriage that lasts their whole lifetime. Nevertheless, I do not think it is best to live together before marriage like they did, and I writing this series to help couples see how best to prepare for marriage.
You may believe that living together is a good way to find out if you are compatible — a sort of “test drive” that will improve your chances for marital success. While this seems to make sense intuitively, actually the opposite is true. Research indicates that couples who cohabit before marriage have a 50% higher divorce rate than those who don’t. These couples also have higher rates of domestic violence and are more likely to be involved in sexual affairs. If a cohabiting couple gets pregnant, there is a high probability that the man will leave the relationship within two years, resulting in a single mom raising a fatherless child. The best way to test your compatibility for marriage is to abstain from sex, date for at least one year before engagement and participate in a structured, premarital counseling program, which includes psychological testing. (Bill Maier, Ph.D.)
• There’s no condom for the brain or the heart. So when you have sex before marriage you’re playing with fire that will most certainly burn you at some point in your life… especially in your marriage relationship. (Unknown)
• When you’re intimate with someone other than your spouse, you’ll have those memories from “the other person” to come back to haunt you later. (And the enemy of our faith would like nothing better than to have weapons available to use to unsettle your thoughts toward your spouse at a later date.) What if the other person kisses better or does other intimate actions with you that you eventually remember enjoying better than the love-making you’re experiencing with your spouse? It’s better to have nothing in your memory bank with which to compare those intimate times than to have those thoughts trying to crowd into your mind as you’re being intimate with your spouse. (Cindy Wright)
• Unless she’s married she should give him no reason to presume she belongs to him. (Elisabeth Elliot)
• You aren’t to “know” of someone [sexually] outside of marriage. (Elisabeth Elliot)
• But do not let immorality or any impurity or greed even be named among you, as is the proper among saints; and no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. (Ephesians 5:3-4 NASB)
• Immoral sex is never safe sex. (Dennis McCallum and Gary DeLashmutt, The Myth of Romance)
___
Weekend To Remember Conference Testimony
Here’s a couple who went to a FamilyLife Conference and how it made a difference in their marriage.
___________________________