Arnold Schwarzenegger: News On Woman & Love Child TMZ Scoop

Maria Shriver Asks – How Do You Handle Transitions in Your Life?

Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted to his wife several months ago that he had fathered a child about 10 years ago with a member of their household staff. Maria moved out, but has not filed for divorce. In the you tube clip above she comments:

“Like a lot of you I’m in transition: people come up to me all the time, asking, what are you doing next?” she said, adding: “It’s so stressful to not know what you are doing next when people ask what you are doing and they can’t believe you don’t know what you are doing.”

“I’d like to hear from other people who are in transition,” she said. “How did you find your transition: Personal, professional, emotional, spiritual, financial? How did you get through it?”

Mrs. Shriver has asked for spiritual input and I personally think that unless she gets the spiritual help that she needs then she will end up in the divorce court. I am starting a series on how a marriage can survive an infidelity. My first suggestion would be to attend a “Weekend to Remember” put on by the organization “Family Life” out of Little Rock, Arkansas. I actually posted this as a response to Mrs. Shriver’s request on you tube.

I read the article ” Recovering Intimacy After an Affair – FamilyLife.com,”by Dave Carder. I  got the article from Family Life’s website and here is the third portion:

Review Contributing Factors

Factors both inside and outside the marriage combined to cause the affair, and it’s helpful to review them.

A special factor to review is the family tree. “Rats don’t have mice” goes a popular saying, and affairs do tend to run in families. I’d wager a guess that there have either been full-blown affairs in your family tree or at least “close calls.” It is imperative that you go back to your parents and grandparents to find out your history.

That “historical research” doesn’t excuse you or your mate’s behavior; it just helps you understand the setting in which it occurred. Knowing your family heritage can help you change it in your generation so that you do not pass it on to your kids. If teenagers (who are beginning to understand adult feelings) can see their parents grieve and rebuild their marriage following the infidelity, that will help them not repeat the cycle when they get married.

Once you’ve surfaced the information (it may take some digging), talk it over with each other. How does the infidel feel about it? The spouse? What attitudes were modeled to your young soul as a child that you can identify? Make it a matter of prayer together, and keep talking about it. Make the information yours, not just something you read in a book! 

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I have mentioned above a lot about Family Life. Here is more info below that comes from Family Life originally. I am starting a series today that talks about conflict in marriage and how to resolve it.

Chip Ingram – Why Conflict is a GOOD Thing (pt 1)

We finished a five part series about marriage at Venture Christian Church this weekend. As I shared God’s plan for marriage, I could sense it stirring up a lot of questions and even some conflict among people. I’d recently heard Tim Lundy share a powerful message about resolving conflict … so I invited him to join us. The good news is that conflict in your marriage or friendships doesn’t mean the relationship is bad, it means it’s alive! When you learn to recognize conflict as an opportunity you’ll learn how to push through tough conversations and actually come out better for it! I wanted to share some of Tim’s key points about resolving conflict and invite you to listen to the full message for free at http://www.venturechristian.org/files/sermons2/t032011.mp3 – it should be available by Monday.

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I am hoping that Maria realizes that this family is worth saving. It will take a lot of forgiveness and she will have to turn to Christ for his supernatural help to make it happen.

Schwarzenegger fathers a love child

Maria Shriver Asks – How Do You Handle Transitions in Your Life?

Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted to his wife several months ago that he had fathered a child about 10 years ago with a member of their household staff. Maria moved out, but has not filed for divorce. In the you tube clip above she comments:

“Like a lot of you I’m in transition: people come up to me all the time, asking, what are you doing next?” she said, adding: “It’s so stressful to not know what you are doing next when people ask what you are doing and they can’t believe you don’t know what you are doing.”

“I’d like to hear from other people who are in transition,” she said. “How did you find your transition: Personal, professional, emotional, spiritual, financial? How did you get through it?”

Mrs. Shriver has asked for spiritual input and I personally think that unless she gets the spiritual help that she needs then she will end up in the divorce court. I am starting a series on how a marriage can survive an infidelity. My first suggestion would be to attend a “Weekend to Remember” put on by the organization “Family Life” out of Little Rock, Arkansas. I actually posted this as a response to Mrs. Shriver’s request on you tube.

I read the article ” Recovering Intimacy After an Affair – FamilyLife.com,”by Dave Carder. I  got the article from Family Life’s website. The article really needs to be read in one sitting and it is quite lengthy. I really think that if this portion below could be interpreted wrongly to say that Maria was somehow responsible for causing the affair. However, that certainly is not true and if you read the whole article you will see that is not what the author is saying. Nevertheless,  is the second portion:

The Recovery of Intimacy

An entangled affair is always the result of an intimacy deficit in the marital relationship. Whatever personalized components there are in the message of this affair, it still boils down to a loss of intimacy before the affair occurred.

Part of the lure of the affair for the infidel was the opportunity to be himself (herself) in his own little private world that he constructed with the partner. He desperately needed that freedom to be himself and be accepted and appreciated. He didn’t feel that he had to pretend or stay within a certain mold, since it was a brand-new world with no rules except those he chose to create with the partner.

Part of the recovery process is to identify what was missing in the marital relationship and repair that loss. You need to rebuild that own special world you had when you were dating and in the early days of the marriage. Everybody needs this special set-apart world—it’s a big part of what makes marriage special.

To continue to rebuild the trust and intimacy in the relationship you will need to integrate the message of the affair into your new way of relating. Following is a four-part integrating process designed to reestablish the intimacy that was crushed by the infidelity. Take each step as you both can handle it, adapting it to your own situation.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Fathers Love Child With Longtime Member Of Household Staff

Maria Shriver Asks – How Do You Handle Transitions in Your Life?

Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted to his wife several months ago that he had fathered a child about 10 years ago with a member of their household staff. Maria moved out, but has not filed for divorce. In the you tube clip above she comments:

“Like a lot of you I’m in transition: people come up to me all the time, asking, what are you doing next?” she said, adding: “It’s so stressful to not know what you are doing next when people ask what you are doing and they can’t believe you don’t know what you are doing.”

“I’d like to hear from other people who are in transition,” she said. “How did you find your transition: Personal, professional, emotional, spiritual, financial? How did you get through it?”

Mrs. Shriver has asked for spiritual input and I personally think that unless she gets the spiritual help that she needs then she will end up in the divorce court. I am starting a series on how a marriage can survive an infidelity. My first suggestion would be to attend a “Weekend to Remember” put on by the organization “Family Life” out of Little Rock, Arkansas. I actually posted this as a response to Mrs. Shriver’s request on you tube.

I read the article ” Recovering Intimacy After an Affair – FamilyLife.com,”by Dave Carder. I  got the article from Family Life’s website and here is the first portion:

Angela was depressed—really depressed. In fact, she was borderline suicidal. She didn’t know why, and her husband, Stuart, was equally puzzled. Their communication and sex lives were practically nil, and Stuart was worried. So he brought Angela in for counseling. He was doing fine, he said—it was she who needed the help.

I insisted that Stuart stay around for the first few sessions—I wanted to get an idea of their history together. After much discussion about various factors in their relationship, I began to find the clues I was looking for.

Stuart had indulged in a short entangled affair with his secretary five years earlier. Both Stuart and his wife vigorously assured me that they had gotten over it long ago.

Yet here was Angela about to end it all, with no apparent cause. I hypothesized to myself that their resolution of the event five years ago left something to be desired, that there still were major factors left unresolved between them.

Angela claimed that she had forgiven her wayward husband, but I had a hunch that hers had been a surface-only forgiveness and that her depression was the result of buried feelings of hostility toward her infidel husband.

After the affair Angela determined to go on as though nothing happened and be a “hero of God’s grace.” She kept a stiff upper lip in their church circle and was viewed as a paragon of virtue. In her heart, however, Angela was dying a slow death. Stuart seemed appreciative of her quick forgiveness—after all, that was his style too: his slogans of “Move on,” “Get over it,” and “Don’t look back” helped him to soon forget it too. He dropped his illicit relationship and arranged for his secretary to be transferred to a distant office, and she resigned rather than move. So all looked well from Stuart’s point of view.

Little did he know that a growing depression was engulfing his wife and beginning to affect her health. When he finally brought Angela in for help, she had very little of herself left to consider her anger at Stuart. In fact, she had almost forgotten the affair. It took some digging to link her feelings of “frustration” with the incredibly swift processing of the betrayal.

When Angela finally got angry and both she and Stuart began to grieve, it was like a huge festering sore that had finally been lanced. Their relationship worsened at first as the anger surfaced. But when Angela finally expressed her rage and began to struggle toward forgiveness on the basis of her true feelings, instead of denial, she was able to approach forgiveness. In effect, she was moving toward forgiveness right through her anger, not by going around it. As a result, Stuart developed an entirely new respect for her.

When Angela chose to forgive her husband, Stuart knew it was for real this time, and he could therefore begin to grieve his losses. Angela discovered a whole new person—her real self—to share with her husband. At the end of that long and arduous process, they were able to stand before the congregation and share their testimony of healing without shame.

Stuart, who had begun to feel like a second-class citizen in the church, could finally begin to feel better about himself, because his sin had been fully recognized by the one he had hurt—his wife. The two have a newfound respect for each other, and the children are doing a lot better, too.

But the best part is that they know for certain that they have forgiven one another. As a result, they know that their relationship is growing closer as time goes by, not more distant.

Remember, forgiveness is a process; all the characteristics of genuine forgiveness will not always be present, but they should become increasingly apparent along the journey.

Chip Ingram – Two Biblical Requirements to Resolve Conflict (pt 4)

To resolve conflict effectively and Biblically there are two absolutes that both parties must agree on – do you know what they are? Without this framework, you can try all kinds of things to avoid or resolve conflict in your marriage and relationships, but you probably won’t be successful. Listen and discover the common ground that can literally transform even the most challenging points of conflict. Want to learn more? Download the full message from guest speaker Tim Lundy for free at: http://www.venturechristian.org/files/sermons2/t032011.mp3

Maria Shriver Asks – How Do You Handle Transitions in Your Life?

Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted to his wife several months ago that he had fathered a child about 10 years ago with a member of their household staff. Maria moved out, but has not filed for divorce. In the you tube clip above she comments:

“Like a lot of you I’m in transition: people come up to me all the time, asking, what are you doing next?” she said, adding: “It’s so stressful to not know what you are doing next when people ask what you are doing and they can’t believe you don’t know what you are doing.”

“I’d like to hear from other people who are in transition,” she said. “How did you find your transition: Personal, professional, emotional, spiritual, financial? How did you get through it?”

Mrs. Shriver has asked for spiritual input and I personally think that unless she gets the spiritual help that she needs then she will end up in the divorce court. I am starting a series on how a marriage can survive an infidelity. My first suggestion would be to attend a “Weekend to Remember” put on by the organization “Family Life” out of Little Rock, Arkansas. I actually posted this as a response to Mrs. Shriver’s request on you tube.

Below is the article “William and Kate and Al and Tipper:Ultimately, people want to see the institution of marriage succeed,” by Dave Boehi of Family Life:

The recent news that Prince William and Kate Middleton are engaged is the perfect story for this hyped-up, celebrity-driven world. Three days after the announcement, I saw that there were over 8,000 stories about the royal couple on Google News. One headline appropriately read, “Middleton gets her man: Let the massive global overkill begin.”

From the media I learned that:

• If my name was William and my wife’s name was Kate, we could get free pizzas at Domino’s.
• One of the most crucial questions for our world over the next few months will be what Kate’s wedding dress will look like, and who will design it.
• I could help bring England’s economy out of the doldrums by ordering souvenir plates and paperweights.
• Bookies were taking bets on what date the wedding will fall on, where they’ll go on their honeymoon, and even what color the bridesmaids will wear.
• Since, in our world of social media, everything is really all about me, I could participate in a poll on, “Is Kate right for William?” and even pass on tips to the royals on how to have a good marriage.

The only notes of concern came from observers who were worried about whether Kate was wise to marry into the royal family. As one headline stated, “From Princess Diana to Sarah Ferguson, British royal marriages rarely end happily ever after.”

Even those concerns, however, reveal something interesting about human character: In this cynical world of rampant divorce, people want marriages to succeed. As one writer said last week, “If any of you have ever stumbled across my ramblings before, you will know that I am not a big fan of our royals. So I found myself somewhat at a loss last night to understand why I (oh the shame) had a tear in my eye as I watched Kate and William talk of their engagement … It was, I suppose, because we’re all suckers for a love story. We had one, or so we mistakenly thought, with Diana and Charles. Now it’s her son’s chance to put it right.”

I think deep down in the human soul, we want family. When we see marriage and family work, we’re encouraged–even if we can’t make it work ourselves.

Perhaps that why, when former Vice President Al Gore and his wife, Tipper, announced last summer that they were divorcing, we saw such an outpouring of dismay in the media. Ellen McCarthy of the Washington Post spoke for many when she wrote, “Please, Al and Tipper, don’t do this. For our sakes–don’t.”

Yes, famous couples divorce all the time. But we thought the Gores were different. Even if we didn’t agree with their politics, we admired their marriage … They’re like the couple down the block with the lush garden and the annual Labor Day cookout. The pair who are always power-walking together and drinking wine on the front porch, who make you nudge your husband and say, “See? I want that.” …

We wanted to see the Gores–our parents, our friends, the neighbors with the porch–delight in their twilight years. Playing with their grandchildren, traveling together in a way they never could before, operating more slowly, but in union. We wanted to see them move into sweetness.

Do you sense the apprehension in those words? And the unspoken question? “If they can’t make it, how can we?”

People want their marriages to last a lifetime. Yet, sadly, they often don’t know how to do it. And that, in a nutshell, is why I work at FamilyLife. It’s why I write these Marriage Memos. When people realize that they can’t build the marriage and family they want so desperately, they are often open to hearing about God. When they realize they can’t do it on their own, they understand their need for a Savior.

In just one November weekend, for example, more than 6,200 people attended 10 Weekend to Remember® marriage getaways around the country. Here are a couple quotes from those who went:

We are moving from a place of being ready to divorce to looking forward to growing together through Christ. This has given us important tools to do so.

We’ve been walking separate roads for many years. Infidelity was the final straw leading us to divorce. I was filling out the papers two days before we came to this event. Over the course of the weekend we found each other, wrote love letters that will be kept as reminders of our true love for each other. I granted forgiveness that my husband really needed. We are going to burn the divorce papers when we get home!

In today’s culture, the issues of marriage and family are open doors for the gospel–the Good News of Christ. Because people want their marriages and families to succeed.  

This article originally appeared in the December 6, 2010 issue of Marriage Memo, a weekly e-newsletter.  To subscribe free to Marriage Memo and other FamilyLife e-newsletters, click here.  For the Marriage Memo archives, click here.