Will Maria Shriver’s marriage survive Arnold Schwarzenegger’s admission of infidelity? I hope so (Part 15)

Media hunts mother of Arnies love child

File photo of Schwarzenegger

File photo of the Schwarzenegger family: (L-R) Maria Shriver, Christina, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Patrick(AFP/Getty Images/File/Jason Merritt)…

Arnold Schwarzenegger Fathers Love Child With Longtime Member Of Household Staff

Maria Shriver Asks – How Do You Handle Transitions in Your Life?

Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted to his wife several months ago that he had fathered a child about 10 years ago with a member of their household staff. Maria moved out, but has not filed for divorce. In the you tube clip above she comments:

“Like a lot of you I’m in transition: people come up to me all the time, asking, what are you doing next?” she said, adding: “It’s so stressful to not know what you are doing next when people ask what you are doing and they can’t believe you don’t know what you are doing.”

“I’d like to hear from other people who are in transition,” she said. “How did you find your transition: Personal, professional, emotional, spiritual, financial? How did you get through it?”

Mrs. Shriver has asked for spiritual input and I personally think that unless she gets the spiritual help that she needs then she will end up in the divorce court. I am starting a series on how a marriage can survive an infidelity. My first suggestion would be to attend a “Weekend to Remember” put on by the organization “Family Life” out of Little Rock, Arkansas. I actually posted this as a response to Mrs. Shriver’s request on you tube.

I got so much out of the article “He Led a Double Life,” by Mary May Larmoyeux that I had to share this. Below is the second portion:

One night, when Scott was leaving his girlfriend’s apartment, he discovered that his truck was gone. “I hoped that it had been towed or stolen,” Scott says, “but in my gut I knew that I had been caught again.”

His girlfriend drove him home, where he found the truck. As soon as he walked into the house, he says, “I started in on Sherry and was very verbally abusive and angry.” She told him he could no longer live in the house since he was not living as part of the family.

Scott was stunned by his wife’s words. He packed a bag and left in anger, tearing up part of the yard as he drove away from the house.

Sherry reluctantly filed for divorce and eventually followed through with it. The final divorce proceeding was on September 21, 2005—their fourteenth wedding anniversary.

Scott and Sherry drove to the courthouse together, and he played a CD with teachings about marriage. He hoped this might lead Sherry to change her mind, but it did not. “I angrily went through the proceedings and spent the rest of the day drunk and stoned,” Scott says. “I think I was in a state of shock.”

After the divorce

Two days later, when Scott called to say goodnight to his son, he also talked to Sherry. His girlfriend complained that he spent too much time on the phone with his ex-wife. Even he was surprised by his response. “The fact was that I still did love Sherry.”

Scott’s girlfriend was livid. She punched him in the eye and told him to leave. He gathered all of his belongings, meekly called Sherry, and asked if he could store them in the garage. When he arrived at the house after midnight with his meager belongings, he wanted to see Steven. Sherry refused, and Scott became belligerent. He threatened Sherry with a lawsuit and left.

With just a few items of clothing and a six-pack of beer, he checked into a cheap motel. As soon as he got into his room, he called Sherry and berated her. He didn’t know what to do or where to go. “Everything that I had held dear was gone,” he says.

“When he called me for the second or third time,” Sherry says, “I tried to honor him and not yell at him.” Finally, she contacted Scott’s sister, Nancy, a pastor’s wife, thinking she might be able to talk some sense into her brother.

Nancy convinced Scott to open the Gideon Bible in the room’s nightstand drawer. As she read from the book of Isaiah, he followed along. Tears filled his eyes when he recited Isaiah 55:7: “Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him, for He will freely pardon.”

A changed man

Wanting to get away from reminders of his failures, Scott decided to drive to his mother’s condo in North Carolina. He knew she was visiting family, and he could be alone for a while. He called his boss and said he was quitting his job and moving out of state. His boss was empathetic and wished him well. “I didn’t see how things could possibly work out,” Scott says.

On the road, he hit the radio’s scan button and heard a preacher ask if anyone was listening who didn’t know which way to turn next. “It sounded like he was speaking directly to me.”

The preacher asked the listeners, “Do you want to climb out of the pit of darkness towards the light?” He explained how to repent and give Jesus Christ control, and Scott felt a deep sense of remorse for his wrongdoing. He repeated a simple “sinner’s prayer” to indicate his decision to receive Christ as his Savior and Lord. “I said the prayer and I literally felt different right afterward,” he says. “I felt like I had been carrying so much anger.”

Scott realized that his struggles with drugs and alcohol could be traced to his anger at God for allowing his father to die—just three years after he and Sherry got married. “Somewhere along the line I made the decision that I wasn’t going to talk about it [his father’s death] anymore.”

At the same time, as a volunteer fireman he had learned how to keep things to himself. He wouldn’t talk to anyone about the horrendous things that he often witnessed. “There was one particularly horrible wreck, and for a long time I would look at people’s faces and see one of the victims.”

He drank to avoid the pain. And when his alcohol use became obvious to co-workers, he started to abuse prescription drugs.

The sights, the smells, and the sounds of death haunted Scott until the day his life changed on his way to North Carolina. God doesn’t do this for everyone, Scott says, “but I physically let it [the anger and pain] go. All of those things were gone.”

A Weekend to Remember®

After Scott reached his mother’s house, his sister Nancy and brother-in-law Douglas (who lived nearby) came to see him. “I told them that I had come to accept Christ,” Scott says. He had started reading the Bible regularly, and they realized he was sincere.

Over the next week, news of Scott’s faith reached Sherry. They began studying Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life together, discussing chapters every day by e-mail and then by phone. Scott told Sherry that he wanted to rebuild their relationship, but this time with God in control and at the center. Sherry said she wanted the same thing, realizing “This is the Christian husband that God has for me.” Sherry hoped that someday she and Scott would remarry “But we needed to do it God’s way.”

Sherry had heard about FamilyLife’s marriage conference on the radio—how it helped couples understand and apply God’s blueprints for their marriage. She told Scott, “We aren’t going one more step until we find aWeekend to Remember.” A few days later, Scott registered them for one in Philadelphia.

When the Jennings began their conference weekend, Scott wanted to do everything that he could to deepen his relationship with Jesus Christ and his wife. He wanted to show Sherry that she and God were his main priorities.

The first session of the conference introduces the concept of isolation in marriage, and the common factors that contribute to it. “That session was difficult,” Sherry says, “as we listened to all the familiar ways we broke our marriage and built walls of isolation.”

During the remainder of the weekend, the Jennings heard about God’s plan for marriage, and learned about practical communication tools for improving their relationship. They saw that God had been working in their relationship in ways they didn’t dream of. “We left that weekend knowing that God was using all the trials, tribulations, and ugliness, all our bad decisions from the past 14 years,” Sherry says, “to bring us … to a place to accept each other.”

They prayed that God would lead them in reconciliation and restoration, and also that they would follow and honor Him. Eventually they remarried, on May 5, 2007.

Today, Scott and Sherry not only promote the Weekend to Remember in North Carolina as FamilyLife volunteers, but also lead a marriage ministry in their church.

Sherry says that she now knows the truth about marriage. It’s “about choosing each day, each minute, to honor God with our words and actions, and in turn, we honor our spouses.” She says that God created Scott specifically for her. “How can I not love, honor, treasure a perfect gift from my perfect God?”

Mary May Larmoyeux is a writer and editor for FamilyLife. She is the author of My Heart’s at Home: Encouragement for Working Moms, co-author of There’s No Place Like Home: Steps to Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom, and co-author of theResurrection Eggs® Activity Book.

_______________________________________

Weekend to Remember Story – Dennis Rainey

Chip Ingram – Two Biblical Requirements to Resolve Conflict (pt 4)

To resolve conflict effectively and Biblically there are two absolutes that both parties must agree on – do you know what they are? Without this framework, you can try all kinds of things to avoid or resolve conflict in your marriage and relationships, but you probably won’t be successful. Listen and discover the common ground that can literally transform even the most challenging points of conflict. Want to learn more? Download the full message from guest speaker Tim Lundy for free at: http://www.venturechristian.org/files/sermons2/t032011.mp3

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