Kate Middleton and Prince William: Marriage made in Heaven? (Part 3)

Adrian Rogers – [2/3] A Magnificent Marriage

Prince William and Kate moved in together about a year ago. Take a look at this clip.

In this clip above the commentator actually suggested that maybe Prince Charles and Princess Diana would not have divorced if they had lived together before marriage. Actually Diana was a virgin, and it was Charles’ uncle that suggested to him that he seek to marry a virgin.

I really hope that things go well for Prince William and Kate Middleton. This post today is mainly about the best way you can prepare for marriage.  In this series of posts I  will look at this issue of living together. It is based on the article “Should We Live Together? What Young Adults Need to Know about Cohabitation before Marriage,” by Josh McDowell. Here is a portion of the article below:

“Cohabitation As An Alternative To Marriage” 

“Most cohabiting relationships are relatively short lived and an estimated 60% end in marriage.11  Still, a surprising number are essentially alternatives to marriage and that number is increasing.  This should be of great national concern, not only for what the growth of cohabitation is doing to the institution of marriage but for what it is doing, or not doing, for the participants involved. In general, cohabiting relationships tend to be less satisfactory than marriage relationships.”

“Except perhaps for the short term prenuptial type of cohabitation, and probably also for the post-marriage cohabiting relationships of seniors and retired people who typically cohabit rather than marry for economic reasons,12  cohabitation and marriage relationships are qualitatively different. Cohabiting couples report lower levels of happiness, lower levels of sexual exclusivity and sexual satisfaction, and poorer relationships with their parents.13  One reason is that, as several sociologists not surprisingly concluded after a careful analysis, in unmarried cohabitation ‘levels of certainty about the relationship are lower than in marriage.’”14

“It is easy to understand, therefore, why cohabiting is inherently much less stable than marriage and why, especially in view of the fact that it is easier to terminate, the break-up rate of cohabitors is far higher than for married partners. Within two years about half of all cohabiting relationships end in either marriage or a parting of the ways, and after five years only about 10% of couples are still cohabiting (data from the late 1980s).15  In comparison, only about 45% of first marriages today are expected to break up over the course of a lifetime.”16

“Still not widely known by the public at large is the fact that married couples have substantial benefits over the unmarried in terms of labor force productivity, physical and mental health, general happiness, and longevity.17  There is evidence that these benefits are diluted for couples who are not married but merely cohabiting.18  Among the probable reasons for the benefits of marriage, as summarized by University of Chicago demographer Linda Waite,19  are:  1) The long-term contract implicit in marriage.  This facilitates emotional investment in the relationship, including the close monitoring of each other’s behavior.  The longer time horizon also makes specialization more likely; working as a couple, individuals can develop those skills in which they excel, leaving others to their partner.   2) The greater sharing of economic and social resources by married couples.  In addition to economies of scale, this enables couples to act as a small insurance pool against life uncertainties, reducing each person’s need to protect themselves from unexpected events.  3) The better connection of married couples to the larger community.  This includes other individuals and groups (such as in-laws) as well as social institutions such as churches and synagogues.  These can be important sources of social and emotional support and material benefits.”

“In addition to missing out on many of the benefits of marriage, cohabitors may face more serious difficulties.  Annual rates of depression among cohabiting couples are more than three times what they are among married couples.20   And women in cohabiting relationships are more likely than married women to suffer physical and sexual abuse. Some research has shown that aggression is at least twice as common among cohabitors as it is among married partners.”21

“Again, the selection factor is undoubtedly strong in findings such as these.  But the most careful statistical probing suggests that selection is not the only factor at work; the intrinsic nature of the cohabiting relationship also plays a role.”

11.  Larry Bumpass and James Sweet. 1989. “National Estimates of Cohabitation.” Demography 24-4:615-625.

12.  Albert Chevan. 1996. “As Cheaply as One: Cohabitation in the Older Population.” Journal of Marriage and the Family 58:656-666. According to calculations by Chevan, the percentage of noninstitutionalized, unmarried cohabiting persons 60 years of age and over increased from 
virtually zero in 1960 to 2.4 in 1990, p. 659. See also R. G. Hatch. 1995. Aging and Cohabitation. New York: Garland.

13.  Nock. 1995; Brown and Booth. 1996; Linda J. Waite and Kara Joyner, 1996. Men’s and Women’s General Happiness and Sexual Satisfaction in Marriage, Cohabitation and Single Living. Unpublished manuscript. Chicago: Population Research Center, Univ. of Chicago;  Renate Forste and Koray Tanfer 1996. “Sexual Exclusivity Among Dating, Cohabiting, and 
Married Women.” Journal of Marriage the Family 58:33-47; Paul R. Amato and Alan Booth. 1997. A Generation at Risk. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, Table 4-2, p. 258.

14.  Bumpass, Sweet, and Cherlin, 1991, p. 926

15.  Bumpass and Sweet, 1989

16.  Latest estimate based on current divorce rate.

17.  Lee A. Lillard and Linda J. Waite. 1995. “Till Death Do Us Part: Marital Disruption and Mortality.” American Journal of Sociology 100:1131-1156; R. Jay Turner and Franco Marino. 1994. “Social Support and Social Structure: A Descriptive Epidemiology.” Journal of Health and 
Social Behavior 35:193-212;  Linda J. Waite. 1995. “Does Marriage Matter?” Demography 32-4:483-507; Sanders Korenman and David Neumark. 1990. “Does Marriage Really Make Men More Productive?” The Journal of Human Resources 26-2:282-307;  George A. Akerlof. 1998. “Men Without Children.” The Economic Journal 108:287-309.

18.  Allan V. Horwitz and Helene Raskin White. 1998. “The Relationship of Cohabitation and Mental Health: A Study of a Young Adult Cohort.” Journal of Marriage and the Family 60:505-514;  Waite. 1995.

19.  Linda Waite. 1996. “Social Science Finds: ‘Marriage Matters.'” The Responsive Community Summer,  p. 26-35.

20.  Lee Robins and Darrel Reiger. 1990. Psychiatric Disorders in America. New York: Free Press, p. 72.

21.  Jan E. Stets. 1991. “Cohabiting and Marital Aggression: The Role of Social Isolation.” Journal of Marriage and the Family 53:669-680. One study found that, of the violence toward women that is committed by intimates and relatives, 42% involves a close friend or partner whereas only 29% involves a current spouse. Ronet Bachman. 1994. “Violence Against Women.” Washington, DC: Bureau of Justice Statistics. p. 6

“The National Marriage Project”

“The National Marriage Project is a nonpartisan, nonsectarian and interdisciplinary initiative supported by private foundations and affiliated with Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey.”

“The Project’s mission is to provide research and analysis on the state of marriage in America and to educate the public on the social, economic and cultural conditions affecting marital success and wellbeing.”

“The National Marriage Project has five immediate goals: (1) publish The State of Our Unions, an annual index of the health of marriage and marital relationships in America; (2) investigate and report on younger adults’ attitudes toward marriage; (3) examine the popular media’s portrait of  marriage; (4) serve as a clearinghouse source of research and expertise on marriage; and (5) bring together marriage and family experts to develop strategies for revitalizing marriage.”

For more information or additional copies of this publication, contact:

The National Marriage Project Rutgers 
The State University of New Jersey 
25 Bishop Place 
New Brunswick, NJ 08901-1181 
(732) 932-2722 

 January, 1999 

Adrian Rogers – [3/3] A Magnificent Marriage

Couple Singing

In this image taken from video, Britain’s Prince William, left, sings with his wife, Kate. (AP Photo/APTN)
Kate Middleton walked down the aisle of Westminster Abbey with her father on Friday to begin her wedding to Prince William. (April 29)

Royals at Wedding

In this image taken from video, From left, Britain’s Prince Philip, Britain’s Prince Charles, and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, sing during the ceremony at Westminster Abbey for the Royal Wedding. (AP Photo/APTN)

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