Maria Shriver Asks – How Do You Handle Transitions in Your Life?
Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted to his wife several months ago that he had fathered a child about 10 years ago with a member of their household staff. Maria moved out, but has not filed for divorce. In the you tube clip above she comments:
“Like a lot of you I’m in transition: people come up to me all the time, asking, what are you doing next?” she said, adding: “It’s so stressful to not know what you are doing next when people ask what you are doing and they can’t believe you don’t know what you are doing.”
“I’d like to hear from other people who are in transition,” she said. “How did you find your transition: Personal, professional, emotional, spiritual, financial? How did you get through it?”
Mrs. Shriver has asked for spiritual input and I personally think that unless she gets the spiritual help that she needs then she will end up in the divorce court. I am starting a series on how a marriage can survive an infidelity. My first suggestion would be to attend a “Weekend to Remember” put on by the organization “Family Life” out of Little Rock, Arkansas. I actually posted this as a response to Mrs. Shriver’s request on you tube.
I read the article “ Recovering Intimacy After an Affair – FamilyLife.com,”by Dave Carder. I got the article from Family Life’s website and here is the seventh portion:
Final Words to the Spouse
You have every right to feel overwhelmed, out of control, enraged, and practically crazy when the affair is disclosed. Don’t put the pain away too quickly; take your time to finish the process as outlined in these pages.
Remember that Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane took all the time that was available between the Last Supper and His arrest to work on the terrible emotional upheaval He was experiencing. Taking time is healthy. You don’t want to make decisions relating to others until you have worked through your own turmoil in this most important of crises.
Now that the affair has been disclosed, you know the truth. For the first time, your relationship has the potential for genuine intimacy. You will have to work through the entire recovery process. So get started. You might be pleasantly surprised.
As you and your mate restructure the intimacy in your marriage, realize that it’s going to be two-steps-forward, one-step-backward progress. Much turmoil will remain to be dealt with.
Difficult days still lie ahead. But keep this thought firmly in mind: you are in the process of recovery. It won’t happen overnight; in an ultimate sense you’ll never be completely over the affair. Trauma always changes people, and it should.
The affair and recovery will change both of you, and as a result will change your relationship. One infidel husband had this to say upon looking back at his recovery:
I never thought Carole could forgive me. But today our relationship is stronger than ever. I thank God for pulling us through, using Christian counseling and supporting friends to help us restore our precious relationship. I’m especially grateful for the difficult circumstances that made me face something ugly in myself: that I was seeking personal fulfillment in sex. What a foolish strategy that was. I didn’t need a change in partners; I needed to change myself! As a result of my realization and her forgiveness, today Carole and I enjoy a closeness I would have thought impossible before the affair.
The fact that that husband can give such a testimony after suffering through months of uncertainty and turmoil in his marriage warms my heart like no other words.
If you’re willing to wade into the deep waters, God will help you put the pieces of your broken relationship back together. You can survive—even thrive—in the wake of infidelity. And I pray that you’ll try, starting today.
Adapted from Torn Asunder: Recovering from Extramarital Affairs © 1999 by David M. Carder and R. Duncan Jaenicke. Used by permission of Moody Publishers. Excerpt may not be reproduced without the prior written consent of Moody Publishers.
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Chip Ingram – How to Diffuse Conflict in Your Marriage (pt 5)
Recently I’ve shared with you several brief video messages about how to resolve conflict. This is such an essential issue that so many of us would rather avoid! The truth is that unresolved conflict creates stress and often results in unhealthy and damaging sin patterns. This quick message will give you some practical ways to approach and diffuse conflict that can help break the cycle. If you or someone you know would like to learn more on this subject, I encourage you to download the full message for free: http://www.venturechristian.org/files/sermons2/t032011.mp3
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The clip above has some material that originally came from a video from Family Life. I have mentioned this organization several times in this post. Contacting ”Family Life” (out of Little Rock, Arkansas) would be a great place for Arnold and Maria to begin their recovering. I am hoping that Maria realizes that this family is worth saving. It will take a lot of forgiveness and she will have to turn to Christ for his supernatural help to make it happen.
The Daily Hatch 